Loose, but demure produce

I have some old news from South Dakota if anyone is interested.  Maybe?  Come on.  So there's a store in the town I'm from called The Plaza.  At The Plaza, you can get gas, buy groceries, beer, household goods, meat cut by the Meat King of Whitewood (who is also my step mom's dad), basically any of your legal vices except hard alcohol, etc.  The Meat King makes the BEST BACON, which is one of the many reasons I am proud to call him Papa.  My favorite part of this is that he is not really old enough to be my papa.  I found this incredibly hilarious.

Anyway, while I was in South Dakota at the beginning of the month, I stopped in to buy myself lunch one day.  I think I got a roast beef sandwich, some chips, and a fistful of my favorite fizzing delicacy, Zotz.  Dear universe please give me the power to ignore my yearning to purchase a whole box of Zotz on Amazon amen.

I found myself in the produce section and noticed one of the vegetable names was spelled wrong, then I started reading the rest and discovered they did it on purpose.  Check this out, ya'll.



Coleslaw for lazy folks!  Perfect!  No thanks, but great marketing.



They also have a whole section dedicated to helping people with pesky vampire problems.



The peppers were marketed as Shrek's teeth.



And my personal favorite, loose but demure braeburn apples.

I should probably send Kris in once a week to be my produce investigative reporter.

I hope everyone is having a super happy long weekend.  Chainsaw and I celebrated our FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY yesterday.



Here is our official five year anniversary photo.  My very favorite anniversary photo was the official two year anniversary photo.



Anywho, I've got to get ready for my dear friend Glory Hole's 24th birth anniversary tipi celebration located in The Middle of Nowhere, Mountain Division, Colorado.  Party on, Wayne!