Scarred for life

Edited to add: I'm a little embarrassed that I posted this, but I had to get it out before it ate me alive. I have some almost finished sewing to show you a little later today. I will try to never tell you such explicit stories about snake poop again.

Warning: I talk about poop and snakes in this post. If you might get grossed out, don't read. That is all.

I saw something completely disturbing last night, and it had nothing to do with the scary movie Chainsaw made me watch last night. Apparently I picked the movie the night before by requesting no scary movies, so last night he got to pick, and of course he picked scary. It ended up having a zombie-ish theme, which isn't really that scary to me.

So I'm scarred for life, and it's not from the scary movie? What could have been so horrible in real life?

Another Warning: Snake poop talk ahead.

There's a snake in my bathroom. His name is Monty Python, but I like to call him Mr. P. We inherited him from our neighbors who were moving and didn't really have room for him/ time to love him. I wasn't too excited, but over the past few months he has grown on me. I have even held him a few times. I bought him a 10 mouse lunch ticket at the feed store. I even felt bad for him one time when Lunch (the name I give every mouse that comes into this house) bit him on the back while Mr. P was strangling him.

To me, the most mystical aspect of being a snake owner has been the snake poop. Snake poop is weird. He does it about once a week, and there is one white poop that looks like popcorn and one brown poop that looks like a Tootsie Roll (the medium sized one, with the 3 little lines to help you break it). It's weird stuff. I am a mom, so I'm somewhat fascinated by poop.

Even more mystical than the poop itself is where it comes from. I have inspected his belly and come up with no clues as to where the poop originates.

Ok, so enough poop back up story.

Scary movie? WATCHED. It is now bed time on the eve of January 20, 2009, a date historic for many reasons. I go upstairs to brush my fangs, and Monty looks kind of funny. That's when I realize that he is pooping. I think to myself, "How lucky am I to catch him pooping? He only poops once a week, and I've never seen it before. Mysteries shall be solved tonight!"

Then I took a closer look and I saw it happening. I can't even explain the horror, but I the moral of the story is this:

If you get a chance to watch a snake poop, DON'T DO IT! It is scary. It is an image you will never get out of your head. It is seriously the most disturbing thing I've ever seen, including the one picture my back up midwife took of Felix crowning. That picture has always disturbed me. Could that really be my body? Yikes! Seeing Mr. P poop was more painful than childbirth.

I don't have any good pictures of Mr. P, but I'll work on it. When he is not pooping, he is seriously a glorious animal. Don't get me wrong, I'm no snake lover, but I do appreciate his majesty.